If one has to call phrase of the year for 2020, ‘Can you hear me?’ qualifies to be a clear winner. We all ended up spending so much time on Zoom, WhatsApp, FaceTime, Hangout, Team calls and have been saying this phrase so often. During the start of the meeting, first few seconds, often minutes, usually go in checking the audio and video settings. The phrase-of-the-year, ‘Can you hear me?’ is uttered umpteen number of times. These teething problems are not confined to only family and friends calls, but they are so common in the professional meetings too.
Closely followed by this phrase, in terms of usage, is ‘You are on mute’. Adjusting to digital mode of conversations has not been easy for many of us. We keep talking during the call while on mute but realize it only when no one responds or other team members point out to us. Likewise, we have had many funny, at times embarrassing moments – sharing wrong screen, typing in wrong chat box etc during these e-meetings.
If we think more, these phrases actually have much more deeper meanings. Even though we used these phrases due to the challenges faced in digital communication, these actually represent our psychological status, most of the time. Let us examine what do these phrases actually mean.
Can you hear me?
‘Hear me out’
‘Listen to me’
‘Please, understand me’
….
Don’t we all want to be heard? Don’t we all yearn to have someone in our life who will listen to us, who will understand us? At a psychological level, in our normal life, we always want others to show understanding of our feelings. Even when we are having one-on-one conversation, many times we go through this feeling that other person is not listening. In the professional environment, in meetings, this is even more common – everyone talks, very few hear, and even fewer listen and our inner voice keeps saying ‘please listen to me’. We all want to be heard, we want to be understood as a person irrespective of the role (father, mother, brother, sister, spouse, colleagues etc.) we are playing. But we have not expressed ourselves enough in the past. This digital mode of communication presented the opportunity for us to express our feelings, albeit, in a different setting. So next time, when we hear someone saying ‘Can you hear me?’ let us give it a deeper thought and try to hear him/her as a person.
‘You are on mute’
This is also a very common phrase and occurring. We find the person on the other side continue to talk without realizing that the mic is not switched on. Doesn’t this happen to all of us so many times. We want to express our thoughts, but for variety of reasons – for fear of expression or for fear of rejection, or fear of reaction, we end up talking to ourselves only, we talk to no one. Actually, if you think very deeply, so often we actually repeat many thoughts in our mind over and over. We examine or we try to convince ourselves about thoughts, decisions, perceptions, possibilities, scenarios etc. During this time, we are talking to ourselves only while no one is listening. So, this phrase ‘You are on mute’ also is a manifestation of our state of mind, only difference is that in the digital calls, others can see us while talking but they can’t hear us.
Next time when others point out to you that you were on mute, just give a smile and be pleased to note that some one wants to hear you out!
Mind (and) Your Business 